I am going to be real with y’all. There are days when I just feel awful about myself. I mess up in some way, and then lies are stabbing my brain with an unexpected force.
“Why did you say/do that?”
“That’s not Christ-like!”
“You are a horrible person.”
It’s like I’m a house elf from Harry Potter, desperate to punish myself for my wrongs. And then, as the lies and accusations grow stronger and stronger, I start to believe them. As a result, I feel even worse. I mentally tear myself down all the time, and it’s a vicious cycle.
Slowly, I have learned how to combat the darts. I have found the best way to do that is to drown myself in the word of God.
Awhile back when I was fiercely beating myself up, I stopped. I trembled as I reached for my Bible. Opening it to Ephesians, I grabbed a piece of paper and said under my breath, “Okay Kara, you’re gonna make a list of who you are in Christ.”
- God chose me (Eph. 1:4).
- God made me holy and blameless (Eph. 1:4).
- God adopted me (Eph. 1:5).
- God has blessed me (Eph. 1:6).
- Through Jesus I have redemption (Eph. 1:7).
- …and forgiveness (Eph. 1:7).
- In Jesus we have obtained an inheritance (Eph 1:11).
- I was sealed with the Holy Spirit (Eph 1:13).
Tears flooded my eyes. I blinked them away, completely overwhelmed by God’s love.
If God says I’m loved, wanted, and made holy, who am I to say he’s wrong? Who am I to say my sins are too big for his grace and forgiveness?
If you struggle with doubting yourself, I encourage you to read all of Ephesians 1-3. I want to remind all of us that we are enough, and not because of anything we have done or not done. We are enough because God is full of mercy and love. Even when we were dead in our sins, God made us alive in Christ. By grace we have been saved (Eph. 2:4-5).
The enemy wants us to doubt God’s love and grace. He wants us to wallow in despair over our sins, because then we find ourselves unable to live the abundant life Jesus has given us (John 10:10).
Remember…God loves you.
He has chosen you to be apart of his forever family, and he has made you holy.
You are enough, for he has made you enough.
“To Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus though out all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:21
Kara is sophomore in college, studying to be a Spanish teacher. She blogs about her life and faith at Coffee With Kara. When she’s not blogging, she enjoys reading Harry Potter, coloring in her Disney Princess coloring book(s), and watching Netflix. She loves catching up with friends over a delicious Starbucks frappuccino, and she may or may not break into song when the situation demands it.