As a mom, it can be hard to take time for yourself, because you’re always focused on your kids and what they need. Sometimes you feel like you’re behind on home tasks or family time, so your “me time” has to wait until everything is caught up. Maybe you feel like there’s simply not enough time in the day to take time for yourself with everything else you have on your hands. I get it! I get it all, mama.
When you do finally get a moment to focus on your needs, you sit down, and then here comes the mom guilt creeping in. Again, I get it.
Here’s the thing… Having time to yourself fills up your cup, your happiness, and your overall well-being. You need to take time for yourself. You need to make time for yourself. You can do it.
Here are 7 ways to help you make time for yourself as a mom without all of the mom guilt that can sometimes come with it.
HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AS A MOM (WITHOUT THE GUILT!)
1. Recognize That You’re Worthy of It –
You probably know that you need to take time for yourself but your guilt is what keeps you from realizing you’re worthy of it. The first step to kicking mom guilt to the curb is recognizing that you are worthy of having time alone to yourself. For myself, what keeps me from acknowledging this is thinking I need to earn my “me time” when that’s simply not true. Everyone needs time to refuel and focus on what makes them happy.
If you’re stuck in the mindset that you need to get your list accomplished before you can enjoy time to yourself, the guilt will never go away. Remind yourself that it’s a necessity to have time for yourself. You need it to refuel. You benefit greatly from it and so does everyone else – your kids and your spouse.
2. Plan In Advance / Daily Routine –
There’s always something to be done when you’re a mom, so personal time is usually the easiest thing to push aside. As a stay-at-home mom, I have found that developing a loose daily routine has helped me plan in time for myself. I have my general daily routine outlined below. Every weekend, my husband and I look at the week ahead and what’s on our schedule. This is when we talk about what we need or want to do for ourselves (alone and together) for the week.
- Wake Up + Breakfast
- Get Ready
- General Clean-Up or Outing (Park, Errands, Etc.)
- Lunch
- Nap Time + Quiet Time (Me Time)
- Play At-Home For The Kids + Housework For Me
- Dinner
- Family Time
- Bedtime For The Kids
- Shower/Self-Care + Mom & Dad Time
Planning ahead, whether it’s a small daily ritual or a special solo outing, makes prioritizing yourself much easier. Life happens. If something comes up, then find flex in your routine or week to make up for any time you don’t end up getting for yourself.
3. Ask For Help –
Don’t be afraid to speak up if you need help! My husband and I don’t have any family or friends in the immediate area, so we don’t have a “village” to help with the kids as many people do. If I’m at 70%, he picks up the extra 30% for me. It works vice versa for us and truly makes a difference. Ask your spouse for help if you need to. Have them take the kids to the park so you can have a quiet home for an hour or so. Every family dynamic is different, so figure out who you can ask for help and actually ask.
4. Take Time After The Kids Go To Bed –
I love my kids but I also love when it’s bedtime for them, haha. Bedtime means it’s finally time for me to unwind. Many people recommend waking up before your kids… I personally don’t ever see that being me. If you’re like me and you’re not a morning person, take the night to relax and tune into whatever it is that makes you feel more like yourself. Take a bath, spend extra time on skincare, read a book, get caught up on your show… whatever it is, let it be for you alone.
I understand many moms may get caught up on house tasks after the kids are in bed, but I want to encourage you to do the housework when the kids are awake. This is not a blanket statement at all, as there’s a lot that can go into this! It’s what works best for me and maybe it may work for you! I do my best to get the house in order by dinnertime. Sometimes the kiddos want to join in and help me put dishes away or fold laundry – sweet teaching moments. You don’t have to constantly be entertaining your kids to be in their presence. Let them play while you get tasks done so you can enjoy yourself later… and without the guilt!
5. Get Organized And Stay Organized –
When organization is lacking, overwhelm takes over. This is a big one for many of us moms. If you take time for yourself but can’t unplug from all of the things you need to do or should get done instead, that time will lead to guilt and be unproductive for your well-being. So, get organized and stay organized, mama! You’ve got this.
Helpful ways to get organized:
- Have A Daily Routine
- Meal Plan (something I want to get better at)
- Have a Cleaning Schedule (aside from the usual daily clean-up)
- Create a Family Calendar
- Use a Planner – I love using Trello for everything!
If the housework is what’s stressing you out, dedicate a certain amount of time that’s reasonable for you to get the house in good foundational order. Declutter and minimize. This will help keep the house more manageable.
Whatever the source of your overwhelm is will carry weighted guilt in your mind during your personal time. Figure out the root of it and the steps to take to overcome it. Again, you’ve got this, mama!
PIN FOR LATER!
I hope you’ve taken away at least one helpful thing from these tips and if you did, share with a mom friend who needs some encouragement. Moms support moms! 💛
Be sure to follow me on Instagram @SummerTelban and on Facebook @CoffeeWithSummer!
