Since we’re still in the month of love, I figured now was a very fitting time to share today’s post. One of the most important things that I have learned over the years is the importance of loving yourself.
Whether you’re married, in a relationship, or single, loving yourself is one of the most important things you could ever learn to do. Loving yourself is a huge part of happiness and enjoying the life you live. I’m not saying it’s always easy to love yourself, but if you want to be confident in who you are and have a fulfilling life, it’s something you have to learn to do no matter what.
[bctt tweet=”7 Ways To Love Yourself More” username=”SummerTelban”]
Getting raw for a moment here… I know it’s not easy. I’m a realist who’s basically a pessimist when it comes to myself. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and sometimes self-worth. I’m often hard on myself, even over the tiniest things. I know that it’s okay to not be perfect and that it’s okay to struggle with things, but some days, I really don’t like myself.
While heartbreaking, I think it’s okay. Having those days is part of the journey to self-love and acceptance, but only if you don’t shut yourself off from getting to know your true self. Learning to love yourself can be tough and uncomfortable, but it is so, so needed.
Putting it all out there, I have been really struggling with this lately with everything I have going on in my life. I’m not perfect and I’m not claiming to have all of the answers on learning how to love yourself, but today I want to share what’s been helping me through this season.
[bctt tweet=”Don’t shut yourself off from getting to know your true self. Learning to love yourself can be tough and uncomfortable, but it is needed.” username=”SummerTelban”]
7 WAYS TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE:
1. Know Your Personality Type // When I was in college, personality types were all the rave to know and at first, I thought they sounded a bit silly. Well, that was until I took the Meyers Briggs Personality Test for myself. In college, I was an INFP and when I read my results it was like someone peered into my soul. It was so weird to me, but that’s when I knew that personality types were important to know. Personalities can change over time. For example, today I’m now an INFJ (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judging). Fun fact: INFJ personalities are the rarest, making up less than 1% of the population.
I recommend everyone to take the test, even if it’s the free version online. It’s very insightful and there are so many details out there that can help you better understand yourself in the context of your personality. It’s actually really cool!
Loving yourself more means getting to know yourself. Don’t shut yourself off from growth of any kind. Seek to be your own best friend.
[bctt tweet=”Learn your personality type and love language. Knowing them will help you better understand yourself = learning how to love yourself more.” username=”SummerTelban”]
2. Know Your Love Language // Or if you’re like me, love languages! Haha! I am literally tied for THREE love languages at the top. Crazy, right? Single, in a relationship, or married, it’s important to know what your love language is. Just like knowing what your personality type is, knowing what your love language is will help you better understand yourself, your thoughts, and how you feel.
Love languages aren’t just about romantic relationships, they’re about how you interact with others, as well. Some people love to give gifts and others run off of quality time. Taking the free online test can help you better identify what really matters to you in relationships.
I’m not saying that these tests will help you figure out your entire life or anything. I’m just saying that they’ll help you dive into a deeper level of understanding yourself. And, let’s be real here. We can really confused ourselves sometimes, right? That’s normal. It can be scary and uncomfortable, but knowing your true self is key to learning how to love yourself.
3. Spend Time Alone // Both points above are about getting to know and better understand yourself in more of an emotional and intellectual kind of way. While knowing yourself intellectually and emotionally are two of the biggest factors in loving yourself, there are others, as well. For me, personally, I always learn a lot about myself when I spend time alone. Whether I’m working from home alone or I’m out running errands by myself, I always learn a thing or two about myself.
Some things to do alone…
- Take yourself out for coffee or lunch
- Go to a movie
- Take a walk or a drive
- Try a new therapeutic hobby
When you’re spending time with yourself, you pick up on all of your quirks, which are essential to being you. Learn to love them.
4. Really Put Positive Self-Talk Into Action // This one is a biggie that I know many people struggle with. Choosing positive self-talk is not typically an easy thing to do. Trust me, I know. This is something I’m always working on and probably will be for a long time, haha.
Positive self-talk can make the biggest difference in a situation. Whether you’re not happy with your hairstyle that day or you’ve forgotten about a coffee date you had, choosing positive self-talk will make all the difference in either situation.
[bctt tweet=”The way you talk to yourself creates your reality.” username=”SummerTelban”]
Something that always sticks in the back of my mind is this: The way you talk to yourself creates your reality. It’s true. Don’t let yourself stay stuck in negativity. Choose positivity in all situations. It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings but you can’t dwell on them.
Related Reading: How To Practice Positive Self-Talk
5. Set Boundaries In Stone & Stick To Them // Friends, this one is so important. Most of us create boundaries already – in relationships, personal choices, etc. But, the real question is… do we stick to them? That’s where the battle comes in when it comes to boundaries: sticking to them.
[bctt tweet=”Create boundaries in your life and actually STICK to them.” username=”SummerTelban”]
Setting boundaries can look different for everyone. To help you think about where you can set healthy boundaries, here is a list of where I’ve set and have been sticking to boundaries. Making these changes has been freeing and relieving for me.
Setting & keeping boundaries…
- In relationships
- Personal convictions
- On social media – unplugging when I’m not working
- In what I consume – eating healthier
6. Accept Imperfection // We are all imperfect. We all know it, but it’s hard to accept some days. I have always struggled with being a perfectionist for most of my life – not because I wanted to be perfect, but because I have always wanted to do everything well and with excellence. While excellence is a great thing to strive for, the reality is, I won’t achieve that in everything. And that’s okay.
One of the greatest things that have helped me accept my imperfections is shifting my focus. Instead of preaching to myself why I’m so imperfect, I do my best to look at my imperfections in a different light. I accept them and I work on them, but I don’t dwell on them. It’s amazing how much a shift in focus can really change your perspective on imperfection.
[bctt tweet=”It’s amazing how much a shift in focus can really change your perspective on imperfection.” username=”SummerTelban”]
7. Forgive Yourself // Forgive yourself for past and present mistakes. When we don’t choose to forgive ourselves for past or present mistakes, it creates a barrier in our lives. We’re going to make mistakes but it’s how we correct and learn from them that matters. Forgive yourself. It’s freeing.
Forgiving yourself can look different depending on the situation. Some things can take a while to heal, whereas others can heal over quite quickly. But, there’s no healing if you don’t forgive yourself.
When you choose to forgive yourself, you’re choosing to love yourself.
[bctt tweet=”When you choose to forgive yourself, you’re choosing to love yourself.” username=”SummerTelban”]
Loving yourself is a journey. A journey full of struggles and joys. A journey that’s worth it.
How are you doing lately? Are you loving yourself or are you beating yourself up? What are some changes you can make to better understand yourself? What are some ways that you can focus on self-love? Let’s chat, friends!